Okay. But don't get your hopes up, friend. He's hardly likely to capitulate and tell you where he is, is he?
[ Because that's what Beckett needs to know. She's only a day or two behind the original Jack - if he's heading downtown, between him and Beckett they can block off both exits from the tunnels. Starving Jackrhys out is as good a backup plan as any.
Killing him herself is still plan A, though, so she carefully scootles right on by Beckett's suggestion. Thinking about there being any conscious element of Rhys still in there, trapped? It's worse than anything she can imagine. N o p e. ]
I'm so sorry. You must miss him more than I could ever imagine. (Without living a bazillion years like you, anyway) But I don't think you should beat yourself up too much for questioning him, if that's what you're doing! He didn't seem like the sort of person whowould have minded, and well, it's part of you, isn't it? Questioning things, learning, analysing? Seeking out understanding instead of blindly accepting things. It's such a core part of you that I'm pretty confident in assuming that it's one of the things that made him love you. (I know it is for me!! Though in a very different way o b v i o u s l y)
font face="Courier New">We'll find him. And we'll find you. Just focus on staying alive. We need you alive.
[I need you. Don't say it. It's fussy, it's demanding. And he knows he has to live and he will live. But living without her will be... is there a hell beyond hell?
None of that self-pity. This is about Angel, not him. They'll find her. He'll find her.]
A bazillion is a bit of an exaggeration. Just a bit.
I suppose he must have. We were seekers together, after all. He believed in me - that I could find the answers we were all after. But Anatole always had been a believer. The purest I've ever known - the only true man of God I've ever known, I think. He believed there was a reason. A plan.
I don't know if I've failed him. He never said so, even when... I keep wondering if there is something he knew. Knows. It's a little pathetic.
Don't worry, you doof. He doesn't want me dead. owo ♥ Anything but, I expect, since even if he finds me burdensome he'll know that an apparent damsel in distress makes for an excellent bargaining chip.
[ She's about to add to that - if it comes to that, let me die - but no. Jack wouldn't kill her anyway, and there's no point in causing further distress by lingering on ideas like that. Not when Beckett is already going through far too much. ]
And you're beating yourself up again. Geez!! It isn't pathetic to wonder like that. It's natural. Sensible. And honestly, you're making me wonder a little too! If he prophecised other things, why not any of this? (And if he *did,* that should prove beyond interesting if he does show up here. But that goes without saying, doesn't it.) As for failing him, you can't honestly believe that? Deep down? If he never said that you did, then you should have no reason to think so! :C
I know that you can handle him - probably better than anyone. But stabbing can be a complicated business for the stabber as well as the victim. Especially with a face you know.
[Why is he even saying this. Why is he doing this to both of them. When he knows that she knows - how much does she know? She's been through a lot, but she's still so young.
Let him do the stabbing, Angel. Faces he knows don't count for much in his world.]
I'm sorry - it's gotten to be a bad reflex. I don't know if anything would have gone differently, if I had believed in everything he said from the start. Maybe he knew how it was going to end. Maybe that's why
[Why Anatole killed himself. But that is one thing he won't talk about. Not when it feels true.]
Is it also not pathetic to think that, if he does show up, he will have answers - some sort of answer?
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2016-05-23 04:43 pm (UTC)[ Because that's what Beckett needs to know. She's only a day or two behind the original Jack - if he's heading downtown, between him and Beckett they can block off both exits from the tunnels. Starving Jackrhys out is as good a backup plan as any.
Killing him herself is still plan A, though, so she carefully scootles right on by Beckett's suggestion. Thinking about there being any conscious element of Rhys still in there, trapped? It's worse than anything she can imagine. N o p e. ]
I'm so sorry. You must miss him more than I could ever imagine.
(Without living a bazillion years like you, anyway)
But I don't think you should beat yourself up too much for questioning him, if that's what you're doing! He didn't seem like the sort of person whowould have minded, and
well, it's part of you, isn't it? Questioning things, learning, analysing? Seeking out understanding instead of blindly accepting things.
It's such a core part of you that I'm pretty confident in assuming that it's one of the things that made him love you. (I know it is for me!! Though in a very different way o b v i o u s l y)
no subject
Date: 2016-05-24 08:21 am (UTC)[I need you. Don't say it. It's fussy, it's demanding. And he knows he has to live and he will live. But living without her will be... is there a hell beyond hell?
None of that self-pity. This is about Angel, not him. They'll find her. He'll find her.]
A bazillion is a bit of an exaggeration. Just a bit.
I suppose he must have. We were seekers together, after all. He believed in me - that I could find the answers we were all after. But Anatole always had been a believer. The purest I've ever known - the only true man of God I've ever known, I think. He believed there was a reason. A plan.
I don't know if I've failed him. He never said so, even when... I keep wondering if there is something he knew. Knows. It's a little pathetic.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-24 03:05 pm (UTC)[ She's about to add to that - if it comes to that, let me die - but no. Jack wouldn't kill her anyway, and there's no point in causing further distress by lingering on ideas like that. Not when Beckett is already going through far too much. ]
And you're beating yourself up again. Geez!! It isn't pathetic to wonder like that. It's natural. Sensible. And honestly, you're making me wonder a little too! If he prophecised other things, why not any of this?
(And if he *did,* that should prove beyond interesting if he does show up here. But that goes without saying, doesn't it.)
As for failing him, you can't honestly believe that? Deep down?
If he never said that you did, then you should have no reason to think so! :C
no subject
Date: 2016-05-24 03:47 pm (UTC)[Why is he even saying this. Why is he doing this to both of them. When he knows that she knows - how much does she know? She's been through a lot, but she's still so young.
Let him do the stabbing, Angel. Faces he knows don't count for much in his world.]
I'm sorry - it's gotten to be a bad reflex. I don't know if anything would have gone differently, if I had believed in everything he said from the start. Maybe he knew how it was going to end. Maybe that's why
[Why Anatole killed himself. But that is one thing he won't talk about. Not when it feels true.]
Is it also not pathetic to think that, if he does show up, he will have answers - some sort of answer?