bookofnope | [IC Contact -- Snowblind]

From:

[He's spent the night avoiding sleep for fear of that awful drowning dream recurring. How long will the thought of Beckett keep him alive in these dreams? How long before his subconscious tells him to let go - of everything? To finally go under, sink under all his failures?

No. He can't. Beckett is still alive to fight for.

To stay awake, to keep perspective, he plays centuries-old videos, files exchanged like letters after another terrible incident that he thought would threaten their friendship, but only strengthened their bond more than ever. And therein he finds his answer.

He doesn't even know if Beckett is watching this. It's hurt so badly, this avoidance of him. But it's proof there's something left of his friend in there. A true beast would have no reason to avoid someone who cared for him. And Beckett himself, centuries past, has reminded him he is not the first one to see the humanity buried under bestial behavior, and to have faith in it.]

Beckett- I know you're in there. I don't know how much you can understand, but I know you're in there.

[His voice is strained, his eyes are wet. But his head is up and his gaze is focused. He hurts, but he's standing strong.]

I just- I want you to know I still love you. I love you. [The emphasis is soft, subtle, a hint of reflexive hesitance he understands now.] ...whatever that means. I don't know, really- my heart hides things from me at a certain intensity, trying to protect itself I think. And you are in this hidden space. I don't know what kind of love I mean. I should have told you before, you know, but I didn't think it was important. The love itself was what mattered, and however it was expressed - friendship or otherwise - would be equally treasured. It didn't matter, as long as we were together. I didn't think-... I should have said something...

[His voice breaks, he blinks out a new round of tears and turns his face away from the camera, remembering Beckett's decline before his eyes. Is he likely to check his tablet again today, after whatever pain watching his own death dredged up?]

What I'm trying to say is- a devotion like this, I can only compare to my love for Lucifel. And even then, I think there's something closer than even that-...you're closer in experience, closer in everything-

...That devotion doesn't die easily. And it doesn't lessen because of something like this. I love you. Even as you are, I love you. And I'll keep fighting, because of my love for you. You are my strength. So even if you can't come back to your senses, you don't need to run.

I hope you can understand all this soon, if only for a moment. I hope this works, even if for only a moment.

But the hope is strong. I have faith in you, Beckett. I know you, you have all the stubbornness of a human. I can see it. And so did Anatole. Do you remember that name? I have no powers, no madness but my own, and can't touch you. I can't be as certain. But as he did-

[He takes a deep breath, steeling himself. His tears clear from his eyes, leaving only their tracks on his face as he looks on in anxiety and determination. He still doubts. But he must try. For Beckett - and for Anatole, whose work on his wonderful friend he cannot let go undone without a fight.]

-I implore you, Beckett, wake up. Wake up!

[It doesn't have an excess of force. It isn't a yell. But it takes all the air out of him anyway, and he sags, watching the screen tiredly as he repeats, hoping Beckett has been brought to lucidity and will hear it. This, after all, is the important part:]

...But remember I will always love you, awake or dormant. I fight on in your name, my friend, always.

Edited (internal consistency edit. sorry for the spam!) Date: 2017-10-28 03:54 am (UTC)

From:

warriorscribe

[The wake of many events leave only trauma behind for many of the residents of this town, Enoch included. This time, it's different. Not to say there wasn't trauma, of course. He remembered too well what it felt like to truly lose all hope, to give up even the last scraps of will to fight the urge to give up.

But it only made what the other distinct alternate timeline had taught him clearer. Groggy from sleep, a lingering phantom prickle at the injection sites on his arm, he leans against the wall and delivers a final message to a man he correctly remembers now as dead.

Goodbye, he says, and he leans back on his knees, face raised as a soft sigh carries a weight from his heart. He feels raw, but...strangely calm.

He needs to speak to Beckett. He braces against the wall to push himself to his feet to go find him.]

From:

rubikscomplex

wanna help me get a heat suit and lug it to the hospital morgue
coat it in rubble dust
and see if it can withstand the anomaly in there long enough to get through the lockers to the nima controls?
i mean
if you're not busy or anything

From:

warriorscribe

(ooc: if you'd rather not deal with this, poke me on plurk and it'll be gone! Easy enough for Enoch to record but forget to send in his current state.)

[Late at night, almost midnight, Beckett receives a message containing only attachments. The first is an audio recording - while the purpose of the recording after the tower had been to give him the freedom to move away from Rhys, this one is clearly about restriction - it is not an open channel. It is a recording, only dubiously open for response. And, well, should he listen...]

Beckett, I-... I know you want nothing more to do with me. I'm wretched and pathetic, an emotional leech, useless and presumptive, and- and I can't blame you for- for this.

I just wanted to say- I'm so grateful for...for everything you gave me. You awakened me to what it meant to be alone and that I had been for so very long before I met you. You brought me to love a part of myself I had only tolerated. You gave me hope for a future for myself, a place in the world I truly wanted to be. It was...wonderful, while it lasted. But if this is what I am I-...perhaps the future is better off...

[He inhales deeply, fighting tears. It hurts to directly acknowledge his worthlessness like this, like tearing himself in half.]

I'm going to try something. If it works, I'll be able to help you. To truly help you, and everyone. But I'll be limited, so...there's one last thing I need to give you. I wanted to earlier, but our tablets were off down there. It's inspired by the poem I wrote when that girl- Monika, I think? Encouraged us to do so. I wanted to try to write something that would transcend languages. It seems...it's silly, now. With all of this. "Forever"...forever deserves better than me as I am, and so do you.

[He sniffles quietly.] But I hope...perhaps...I don't know. It just feels right to give it to you. Keep it, erase it, do with it as you will. It's yours.

One last- I have one last favor to ask of you. If what I plan fails, I may need to- to broaden my reach, as much as I don't want to involve others. Please lend your tablet, if that time comes.

Thank you, Beckett, for everything. I will always love you.

[The recording ends.]

[Attachment: A Piece of Captured Light.txt]

From:

phaseshifter

I know you aren't speaking to me right now, but I thought you should know.
Considering your thirst for knowledge is only rivalled by your thirst for blood, it's incredible to see how you never manage to actually *learn* anything. I'm impressed. Does it take effort, or are you naturally this talented?

[ hey guess who snapped, ]

From:

0thingsonmymind

*Its been awhile since he tried this, but with that weird need to share today...well he might as well. Maybe someone will get something from it.

And so he sends out video of experiments with the fleshmound. He's largely cutting it up, so there's a lot of blood. Enjoy.*

From:

ex_this_ismydesign36

Help keep him safe. We both know he's his own worst enemy.

From:

phaseshifter

I'm okay! And alive! Both of those things!!
Iunno if you or Enoch will get this first so if it's you will you please let him know too
And get the heck out of the bunker before you get cabin fever too, you butts!!!

[ gosh it would be awful if beckett didn't get this message because of stupid dumb bunker experiments huh ]

From:

swatsflies

Hey Beckett
were you with them?

From:

telvanni

[ With no fanfare or explanation, a file is delivered to Beckett's inbox. Remember that whole thing where Beckett said he was interested in gods and such? NELOTH DOES. Which is why he hasn't just written an overview of the whole deal, oh no. That's not showing off enough. He's written a fucking novel. It's split into chapters and everything. And the first third or so is in capslock because it took him that long to figure out how to turn it off. Why.

To say he's been thorough is an understatement. The file starts off with a shitty paint program diagram of the universe as it's currently understood, with helpful labels. Apparently the sun and stars - Magnus and the Magna-Ge - are holes in the sky leading through to Aetherius, the source of magic, and the planets in the space surrounding Nirn are all that remains of the flesh-divinity of the Aedra. Whatever that means. The Aedra in general get glossed over with little interest and are dismissed as being disinterested, disivolved, and at least partially dead.

The Daedra, on the other hand, get a lot more in terms of explanation. There are "good" and "bad" daedra, though he dismisses this idea as being stupid and arbitrary and far too mortal in its judgements. He goes into great detail about each of the Daedric Princes and their sphere of influence - he spends a lot of time talking about Hermaeus Mora, the Daedric Prince of knowledge, who is apparently a lovecraftian many-eyed tentacle monster whose plane of Oblivion is a never-ending library. Mehrunes Dagon gets a similar treatment: he's listed as the Prince of Destruction, and there's a level of detail in the descriptions of the rituals needed to commune with him that indicate a certain amount of personal experience on Neloth's part.

If Beckett gets far enough into the wall of text, he'll find that is indeed the case. Apparently, Neloth was once granted an artifact by this particular god that was later stolen by someone called Gothren. The next three chapters are an elaborate dissertation on why Gothren sucks, why he should never have been made Archmagister of House Telvanni, and how the only bad thing about him being dead is that Neloth didn't get to murder the aggravating s'wit himself.

Not that he bears a grudge or anything.

The chapter on Molag Bal might be of particular interest to Beckett. Listed as the Prince of Domination, he's also the father of vampires - there's a patchy retelling of the legend behind it, which is pretty unpleasant to say the least. CW: rape and murder. Yeah.

There's also a section on non-Aedric/Daedric gods, which mostly concerns three beings known as the Tribunal. They're detailed as having been people, once, who elevated themselves to godhood but later had it stripped from them and were killed. Except one - Vivec - who no one is completely certain about. Neloth merely notes that Vivec "was and possibly is a strange, narcissistic fetcher who probably revels in the attention that their oh-so mysterious disappearance brought them. S'wit. Don't ask about their poetry."

I'm sorry did I say this was a novel because apparently it's more like some kind of divine gossip rag?? ]

From:

headjacked

[ It feels like waking up from a drunken nightmare, lying in a cold sweat and hoping to whatever god you please you haven't done anything to make an ass of yourself.

Except he knows he has. Certain memories are quite vivid. And 'ass' doesn't quite cover the avalanche of shit he brought down.

He has some burning questions, but Beckett deserves a tiny reprieve before then. ]

Sorry I'm unfashionably late.

From:

deus_ex_phs

[The username might be Kunsel's, but the face Beckett will be greeted with is Zack's.]

Hey, man! It's me, Zack!

[ But he probably already knows. Zack should be connecting those dots while doing his squats in one, two- ] -oh! Guess you already could tell, huh?

[ He finally stands tall, dusting his hands off his pants absently. Swinging them now as he speaks. ]

Anyway, Kunsel told me you could use some cheering up, so here I am, your best buddy, Zack! Letting you know I love you, man! It's been hard, but things will start getting better and it'll start with us!

[ Cue the dumbest, surest smile! ]

[RIP Zack.]

Edited Date: 2018-07-19 02:27 am (UTC)

From:

warriorscribe

[A day after Rhys contacted Beckett he goes after Enoch, and if Beckett had already figured it out it will come as no surprise when he quietly gets his attention to confirm it. If he hadn't, now he knows.]

(Sorry, only used this new thread because I didn't want to crash one in-progress from the previous IC day)

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If we open it and the world ends...

[IC Contact -- Snowblind]