Should. Not could. I should have been there. I... well. [He pauses, awkward, aware of how close he's coming to doing exactly what he said he hadn't, wouldn't - stopping her from doing anything she thought right, however mad and dangerous.]
House has a plan for trying to reach behind the morgue drawers at the hospital. I'm working with him and Will. And there are the classrooms in the school, the possibility of staying in them. I... don't know how that compares to jumping into the pit, but I've been trying not to calculate my odds, either.
House has-- is it better than the plan we had? And just what do you plan on doing if you get back there, considering that as far as I know none of you would know what to do with an advanced computer system even if it came with a for dummies help guide?
[ She's genuinely a little offended. FOR SHAME. ]
As for the classrooms, the danger could be mitigated if you had people standing by to pull you out if you pass out completely. Maybe people who have a marked interest in keeping you alive because they love you? This is so stupid, you're so stupid.
[Ah, yes, he should've expected this response to He Who Shall Not Be Named. And he does have the decency to sound pained about it.] It's not about the plan being better. It's about... compatible ideas of risk assessment.
[God, that sounds five times as dumb when he actually says it, never mind whether the principle is sound.]
But... that is half the point. Perhaps I don't want to be kept alive. Not that I want to die for the sake of dying, but... perhaps that is what it would take. Which hardly makes it sound like something I want to do in the presence of people who love me.
Dying in the classrooms won't give you anything but an oxygen deprivation headache and the inconvenience of a death price and you know it.
[ She's snapping a little. Too many dudes with suicidal plans in these parts. IT'S NOT OKAY. ]
Much like getting through to the server room won't help you without someone who knows computers. Seriously, what are you plan-- Oh god, you're not planning on smashing whatever's in there, are you? Don't smash it. Don't let House smash it. Do not freaking break anything.
I don't know it. I don't know anything! Every time I think I have some grasp on the pattern - [If there was video involved she could see him flailing in a way he's almost definitely picked up from her and Rhys. So it's a good thing there isn't.]
Of course I wasn't planning om smashing it. That is half the reason I'm there. To stop House from freaking breaking anything. But once we get a look, once we have at least some idea of how to do it safely - [Oh no, shit, he fucked up.] A little more safely. For effectiveness' sake if nothing else. So you can actually get something done.
For me? Reasonably safe. I'm not the one planned to be going into the morgue. Just an observer. I told you I'm not actually looking to die.
[When he says it that way, it sounds more... almost petulant, than reassuring. Which annoys him, because that isn't the point. The point is - ]
We could all die. Any moment. An anomaly, a glitch in the system, rotten luck - that's what I've always said. The only reasonable thing is to try and gather information about any danger we can test before someone engages with it. It's all we can do.
It's all you can do except be there for the people who need you, you mean. Don't forget that part.
[ It should sound bitter, but. She's so tired. She's so. Fucking. Tired. ]
If it doesn't work.. consider coming back? We can try what we had planned. Since the morgue is more likely to give up results than the classrooms, right...?
[Maybe he'd actually have an easier time with bitter. Tired just reminds him of how the clock is ticking. For all of them, but perhaps for some of them with greater stakes than for others.]
I... I need to speak to Enoch. And to Rhys, as well, if he'll hear from me. But I will come back. I've already said that I will. Once I know, I will come back.
[Once he knows he can still do this. Do everything that the stupid, stubborn, old and dead thing he is is used to doing.]
Not much longer, I think. [He's been keeping track of the days, actually. Because he totally cares, in his hands-off, say-nothing, bad-at-caring way.]
I admit that leaving you with the two of them, as things stood, was... low. Not that he listened much when I did try to talk to him. Rhys, I mean. About the obvious.
[ It's another step towards her sounding like her usual self. A step she embraces wholeheartedly, because she just doesn't have anyone else she can fully bitch about The Rhys Situation with. BECKETT HELP HE'S SO STUPID AND DUMB AND ]
I was this close to kicking him into the stupid pit when we were there. Now I'm just bemoaning the town's lack of additional pits, you know? Guhhh.
[It is his pleasure and his honour to be a sounding board for Rhys-Related Bitching. Nothing quite holds a family together as commiserating over each other's dumbness. It's The Truth.]
I knew he used to be - well. but I didn't realize he used to be quite so - well.
[Is he fully entitled to bitch about Rhys though when Rhys is going to bitch about him so much no doubt.]
You've been a marvelous influence on that boy, is all I can say.
[No, no, no, this is hugely sabotaging his entire plan here. He has to back out now. Her tears are going to break him in a way even her anger couldn't.]
I - I have to go, Angel. I will speak with them. And I'll come back. I promise. You know I'm nothing if not a man of my word.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2018-03-11 01:05 am (UTC)House has a plan for trying to reach behind the morgue drawers at the hospital. I'm working with him and Will. And there are the classrooms in the school, the possibility of staying in them. I... don't know how that compares to jumping into the pit, but I've been trying not to calculate my odds, either.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-11 04:16 pm (UTC)[ She's genuinely a little offended. FOR SHAME. ]
As for the classrooms, the danger could be mitigated if you had people standing by to pull you out if you pass out completely. Maybe people who have a marked interest in keeping you alive because they love you? This is so stupid, you're so stupid.
cw suicidal ideation
Date: 2018-03-12 08:40 pm (UTC)[God, that sounds five times as dumb when he actually says it, never mind whether the principle is sound.]
But... that is half the point. Perhaps I don't want to be kept alive. Not that I want to die for the sake of dying, but... perhaps that is what it would take. Which hardly makes it sound like something I want to do in the presence of people who love me.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-12 09:00 pm (UTC)[ She's snapping a little. Too many dudes with suicidal plans in these parts. IT'S NOT OKAY. ]
Much like getting through to the server room won't help you without someone who knows computers. Seriously, what are you plan-- Oh god, you're not planning on smashing whatever's in there, are you? Don't smash it. Don't let House smash it. Do not freaking break anything.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-20 09:09 am (UTC)Of course I wasn't planning om smashing it. That is half the reason I'm there. To stop House from freaking breaking anything. But once we get a look, once we have at least some idea of how to do it safely - [Oh no, shit, he fucked up.] A little more safely. For effectiveness' sake if nothing else. So you can actually get something done.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-20 09:42 am (UTC)[ She's pretty sure she knows exactly how safe it is at this point, but. You know what they say about assumptions.
Plus maybe she just wants to make him say it. ]
I won't ask for details. But are you going to die?
no subject
Date: 2018-03-21 08:49 pm (UTC)For me? Reasonably safe. I'm not the one planned to be going into the morgue. Just an observer. I told you I'm not actually looking to die.
[When he says it that way, it sounds more... almost petulant, than reassuring. Which annoys him, because that isn't the point. The point is - ]
We could all die. Any moment. An anomaly, a glitch in the system, rotten luck - that's what I've always said. The only reasonable thing is to try and gather information about any danger we can test before someone engages with it. It's all we can do.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-21 09:04 pm (UTC)[ It should sound bitter, but. She's so tired. She's so. Fucking. Tired. ]
If it doesn't work.. consider coming back? We can try what we had planned. Since the morgue is more likely to give up results than the classrooms, right...?
no subject
Date: 2018-03-24 11:19 pm (UTC)I... I need to speak to Enoch. And to Rhys, as well, if he'll hear from me. But I will come back. I've already said that I will. Once I know, I will come back.
[Once he knows he can still do this. Do everything that the stupid, stubborn, old and dead thing he is is used to doing.]
no subject
Date: 2018-03-24 11:23 pm (UTC)[ Oh. Yeah. Rhys is still... UnRhysish. ]
Um, Rhys can probably wait a day or two. That's how long people usually take to... to readjust, right?
no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 06:36 pm (UTC)I admit that leaving you with the two of them, as things stood, was... low. Not that he listened much when I did try to talk to him. Rhys, I mean. About the obvious.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-27 07:50 pm (UTC)[ It's another step towards her sounding like her usual self. A step she embraces wholeheartedly, because she just doesn't have anyone else she can fully bitch about The Rhys Situation with. BECKETT HELP HE'S SO STUPID AND DUMB AND ]
I was this close to kicking him into the stupid pit when we were there. Now I'm just bemoaning the town's lack of additional pits, you know? Guhhh.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-28 08:24 pm (UTC)I knew he used to be - well. but I didn't realize he used to be quite so - well.
[Is he fully entitled to bitch about Rhys though when Rhys is going to bitch about him so much no doubt.]
You've been a marvelous influence on that boy, is all I can say.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-28 09:12 pm (UTC)It's not just me! It's you too. And even Jack, I think, in a way. And just being here has shaped him quite a bit. What with it being... not Helios.
Geez. Remember how you just used to barely tolerate him? You called him my effing ghoul once.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-29 08:00 pm (UTC)[No, no, no, this is hugely sabotaging his entire plan here. He has to back out now. Her tears are going to break him in a way even her anger couldn't.]
I - I have to go, Angel. I will speak with them. And I'll come back. I promise. You know I'm nothing if not a man of my word.
no subject
Date: 2018-03-29 08:15 pm (UTC)Okay. Thanks. And - stay safe, okay? Love you lots, even if you are incredibly dumb sometimes.
[ don't go gettinG YOURSELF MURDERED OR ANYTHING,,,,,,, ]