Sometimes, corpse-gray though he is, it's still possible to see the blood drain from Beckett's face. He's not wearing his glasses. His eyes grow huge. He looks at the tablet, reads the three words, looks up, down, reads them again.
[ How seems self-explanatory. They hecked up. That's all there is to say about it. ]
I'm sorry. We should have stopped earlier and Sorry.
[ Looking at his face is just too freaking hard, so she's just gonna. Cover that part of the screen with her sleeve until she can breathe again. Yeah. ]
[If anything, his expression collapses all over again hearing that. Right outside. They must have been minutes away from making it. Perhaps if he'd met them downstairs? Or met them halfway rather than stubbornly staying in this one building, testing the corpses, the beds, getting - not much at all. His breathing grows loud, rattling. He visibly forces himself to slow it, slow his thoughts.]
[ Nooooooooooo. She doesn't wanna. Seeing and being seen makes it so much harder to keep it together.
Of course, she complies anyway because everyone knows about Angel and her whole self-sacrificing thing. It how she do. ]
Okay.
[ If it's any consolation, she doesn't look frightened. She's trying to keep both her expression and her voice calm and neutral, but there's something a lot like shame there. This isn't an awful thing happening to her - it's an awful thing she's doing to other people, letting them down this way. ]
[As soon as he asks her and she complies he knows he shouldn't have. He knows she doesn't want to fall apart in front of him - even if she is going to fall apart she doesn't want him to see it, and he understands that very much, and yet at the same time suddenly he is quite sick of it. They've both had their rounds with death before but never like this, facing each other on two sides of a barrier - two barriers - the door and the screen of the tablet,It's different. It makes everything stark and real. Makes the seconds tick in a way he was never aware of when he was immortal.]
What can I do for you? [He asks softly, managing - now that he's aware of everything, of how they don't have time for his shock and panic and frustrated rage - to quiet them, to look at her perhaps not calmly, but to truly look at her, and listen.] Anything you've ever wanted to know or hear me say and haven't had the chance.
[ She even laughs a bit at that, somehow. Just a bit. It's half nerves - offering last requests is so very final, and she desperately wants to believe that she's coming back. Rhys too, of course, since the idea of one of them having to go on without the other is too horrid to contemplate even for a second.
Which naturally means she does think about it. And not coming back in general. ]
But I'd like to - I want to say that even if this is it, I'm really glad we met. All of us. It's been worth all the - you know, all this. The Norfinbury parts. A million times over.
[It's true, of course, and that's the heart of the problem - the possibility of return makes the exchange of last words feel like an invitation for despair. But not to exchange them - God, what does he have to hide? Does he need an excuse at this point to tell her how much he cares for her?]
I know... I know. I wish it had been better. I wish... it would have been easier, maybe, if I had not come to need what what you have given me. But I wouldn't trade it, nonetheless. Not for... not even for a different end.
[Grace. Mercy. They mean so much more now than they did when he imagined he could find them in some old scroll or dusty tomb.]
You've let me express a different side of my personality. [He's trying for jokes, because he can see he's losing her - he can see her fading and he knows there's no point trying to urge her to stay awake. She won't be able to. Drifting off is the only peaceful part of this whole ordeal.]
You - you don't have to try and hold on if it's too difficult. I can tell you more stories of bold yet absurd adventure, if you like. I have any number.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2017-06-21 07:44 pm (UTC)Sometimes, corpse-gray though he is, it's still possible to see the blood drain from Beckett's face. He's not wearing his glasses. His eyes grow huge. He looks at the tablet, reads the three words, looks up, down, reads them again.
Outside?]
You're -
[Outside?]
But - how - where?!
text;
Date: 2017-06-21 08:19 pm (UTC)[ How seems self-explanatory. They hecked up. That's all there is to say about it. ]
I'm sorry. We should have stopped earlier and
Sorry.
[ Looking at his face is just too freaking hard, so she's just gonna. Cover that part of the screen with her sleeve until she can breathe again. Yeah. ]
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Date: 2017-06-23 05:04 pm (UTC)I - let me see you. Please.
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Date: 2017-06-23 05:28 pm (UTC)Of course, she complies anyway because everyone knows about Angel and her whole self-sacrificing thing. It how she do. ]
Okay.
[ If it's any consolation, she doesn't look frightened. She's trying to keep both her expression and her voice calm and neutral, but there's something a lot like shame there. This isn't an awful thing happening to her - it's an awful thing she's doing to other people, letting them down this way. ]
Sorry, my - my hair's a mess.
[ j o k e s ]
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Date: 2017-06-23 05:53 pm (UTC)What can I do for you? [He asks softly, managing - now that he's aware of everything, of how they don't have time for his shock and panic and frustrated rage - to quiet them, to look at her perhaps not calmly, but to truly look at her, and listen.] Anything you've ever wanted to know or hear me say and haven't had the chance.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-23 06:31 pm (UTC)[ She even laughs a bit at that, somehow. Just a bit. It's half nerves - offering last requests is so very final, and she desperately wants to believe that she's coming back. Rhys too, of course, since the idea of one of them having to go on without the other is too horrid to contemplate even for a second.
Which naturally means she does think about it. And not coming back in general. ]
But I'd like to - I want to say that even if this is it, I'm really glad we met. All of us. It's been worth all the - you know, all this. The Norfinbury parts. A million times over.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-27 08:08 pm (UTC)I know... I know. I wish it had been better. I wish... it would have been easier, maybe, if I had not come to need what what you have given me. But I wouldn't trade it, nonetheless. Not for... not even for a different end.
[Grace. Mercy. They mean so much more now than they did when he imagined he could find them in some old scroll or dusty tomb.]
no subject
Date: 2017-06-27 09:14 pm (UTC)[ Gosh, she's so tired. At least she has Rhys to snuggle against, though. Poor Beckett doesn't have anyone.
Annnnd that's her most upsetting thought yet. Hgrhgrhghr. Distractions. ]
To think it all started with you explaining freaking zebras to me. Remember? Waaay back...
[ So, so tired. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-06-27 10:02 pm (UTC)You - you don't have to try and hold on if it's too difficult. I can tell you more stories of bold yet absurd adventure, if you like. I have any number.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-27 10:14 pm (UTC)But don't finish it. Then I definitely have to come back to hear how it ends.
[ Yeah, they both know that's not how things work. But silliness helps, doesn't it? No matter how mild? ]