Yes. It's temporary. [Beckett certainly sounds encouraged by that. It's hard for him to imagine it not being encouraging. He makes the assumption almost without considering it.]
You only need to survive - however long it is going to be, and you know that you have your own self to return to.
*He doesn't really know how he feels about it. Its all so confusing and makes figuring out if he wants to be like this or not too much for him. He knows he wouldn't normally, but now he understands that he only thinks that because he gave up...however long ago it was. But it wasn't like he could try to be like this normally--he was right when he said it was too complicated. But in the end it didn't matter. Norfinbury or the @admin or who/what ever controlled the death loses here would take this away. He knows when it happens he'll be grateful but now... ...now he just resigns himself to it. Its depressing, in a way, but also somewhat freeing. Nothing he does these next few days really matters much.*
Yeah. This won't last too long.
*He still sounds kinda depressed about it, though.*
[It's not the response he expects, not in an immediate sense, and it frightens him rather out of all proportion - perhaps because it taps into a dread he'd been keeping quiet throughout their talk. What if the change isn't as passing, as on-the-surface, as it seems? What if the effects of the town pass, but the cracks they opened linger?
It's too easy to see how that would happen. It's an intimately familiar story.]
It can't rewrite who you are, Brian, not truly. I don't believe that it can.
[He's tried to offer comfort now and then. He suspects he's even gotten good at it. But this? What answers can he give that he hasn't failed to give himself?]
That is why I thought... perhaps in this condition you would have some insight into things that are harder to grasp in your normal state. A new perspective? Something to reflect on, to keep you connected?
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branchandroot
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Date: 2017-03-25 10:45 pm (UTC)You only need to survive - however long it is going to be, and you know that you have your own self to return to.
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Date: 2017-03-25 11:19 pm (UTC)But in the end it didn't matter. Norfinbury or the @admin or who/what ever controlled the death loses here would take this away. He knows when it happens he'll be grateful but now...
...now he just resigns himself to it. Its depressing, in a way, but also somewhat freeing. Nothing he does these next few days really matters much.*
Yeah. This won't last too long.
*He still sounds kinda depressed about it, though.*
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Date: 2017-03-25 11:41 pm (UTC)It's too easy to see how that would happen. It's an intimately familiar story.]
It can't rewrite who you are, Brian, not truly. I don't believe that it can.
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Date: 2017-03-25 11:45 pm (UTC)*He's still cerain of that. He's still positive the Operator is all-powerful.*
But it doesn't really make waiting any easier.
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Date: 2017-03-26 01:50 pm (UTC)[He's tried to offer comfort now and then. He suspects he's even gotten good at it. But this? What answers can he give that he hasn't failed to give himself?]
That is why I thought... perhaps in this condition you would have some insight into things that are harder to grasp in your normal state. A new perspective? Something to reflect on, to keep you connected?
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Date: 2017-03-26 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-28 10:42 am (UTC)Can I help you with that in any way?
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Date: 2017-03-30 12:35 pm (UTC)*He shrugs.*
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Date: 2017-04-03 10:29 am (UTC)Though, if you do not wish to be alone as you do, only say so.
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Date: 2017-04-03 01:06 pm (UTC)I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.