[Just for you, Angel, Beckett will show his face, though he really, really doesn't want to. There's dried blood in his hair, his eyes are a bit unfocused, and his nose looks (and sounds) broken. But hey, not dead!
He speaks in a slow, tired deadpan.] Would you rather it had been Rhys? Or you?
[The single syllable is snapped off in a growl, and for an instant she has full view of it - his lips draw back from wicked fangs, face twisting in a flicker of inhuman rage that changes him. He's still hungry. It colours all of his emotions in dark red.
Then it ebbs, quick as it came, or else he gets control of it. He shakes his head and winces at the gesture.]
... no. I don't care who calls for my death. I do care about possibly killing my closest companions.
Don't you take that tone with me, mister. I think you'll find plenty of people do care when others threaten your wellbeing.
[ It's supposed to be a joke - fondly chastising, typically Angel - but it falls flat. Okay, maybe the insomnia isn't that rad. ]
I mean, it... I spoke with Doctor Watson. About things. And he said that a human can afford to lose a small cup of blood every day with no real ill effects, so that - it would be better than nothing, wouldn't it? Better than trying to avoid everyone.
[A part of him withers at that tone in her voice, but another is glad. It means she fully understands the gravity of the situation, even if she doesn't realise the plain facts of it yet.]
No real ill effects in an ideal environment, maybe - but either way it's moot. I'd have lost control as soon as I smelled it, never mind drank. Trust me when I say I know how this goes.
[Wearily, but without real impatience or frustration. It's an old struggle, even if he doesn't normally lose it so badly.]
And for that matter, plenty of people would have cared if I'd hurt you or Rhys.
Nobody would have had to know. There'd certainly be no hysterical screaming over the network about the guy who eats fingers and his friends who are so freaking crazy for wanting to make sure he's okay.
[ Someone's bitterness is showing. YES LET'S ALL CALL FOR THE DEATH PENALTY IN RESPONSE TO AN ATTACK THAT IS CLEARLY NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR FOR THE INSTIGATOR, THAT'S SUPER REASONABLE CONSIDERING WHAT ELSE GOES ON HERE ]
What if - how much blood would typically get you back to, um. Normal levels? Would you be able to take it from me if Rhys stood by to knock you out with the robot arm if you lost it and tried to take too much? I wouldn't mind resting for a day or two to recover afterwards.
Having your fingers eaten seems like good reason to get hysterical.
[He's very understanding here, in contrast. He did rush them out of the blue and, well, didn't quite eat the finger but that's a technicality.]
They were panicked and in pain. I can't blame them for their response. Though I wish you two didn't have to... [he stops short of saying something stupid there, thankfully. Raises a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and - yeah, no, probably not a good idea. He rubs his eyes instead.]
Angel. It isn't viable. If I truly needed to feed, I could be sated... but I don't. It's a phantom pain. It obeys no logic. The only return to normal would be when I learn to manage it.
I'm not judging them so much as everyone else who just had to weigh in on the issue. Especially the ones who don't even know you! Acting like - like smug assholes because that clearly means their judgement is unclouded. It doesn't mean they're missing vital information or anything, that's unthinkable.
[ It's a trend here, as far as she's concerned. People acting like her emotions - the emotions she's finally allowed to display - mean that her intelligence is no longer relevant. Like she's not capable of looking at things rationally because of her precious freaking feels, so it's fine for people to talk over her.
God, she hates that. More than anything. Still - it's not the issue at hand, so she swallows and falls momentarily silent. ]
...How long do you think you'll need? And what if you can't manage it on your own.
We do have some unique treasures in this latest batch of newcomers, don't we?
[He relents as much to agree on that, at least, though there's a weight of guilt he finds it hard to shake off. He'd hurt these two men, well - it's something of a fact of life. But he'd lost all control, all semblance of it. That frightens him. He doesn't want to say as much to her, but he knows that she thinks better of him than he strictly deserves.]
I doubt they'll do anything about all that snarling and posturing, though. It's typical... they're not worth your upset, Angel.
[At least he has the wits not to say I'm not worth your upset.]
It will be... hopefully no more than a few days. I know the problem, I've dealt with it before. If it's manageable...
[And the second question remains hanging in the air, with no answer he can think of.]
...if it's manageable, I'll admit you were right to run off and that I'm a fussy mortal buttlord. If not, it - mmmh.
Iunno. Can we - maybe agree to test it? By meeting up again in a week or something? If we promise to whap you around the head if you can't deal and try to get bitey?
But she's being reasonable about this, he thinks, and a week in Norfinbury feels like a very long time. He takes a slow breath in.]
How confident are you of your ability to "whap" me? I know the strength Rhys has in his arm, but it takes conviction to put it to good use... and that isn't without its risks.
My own whapping abilities are... admittedly not great.
[ what are these words why is this an actual serious conversation ]
But Rhys' arm should be enough to defend both of us if you misbehave. He clearly wouldn't relish using it against you, but I definitely trust him to do it if we're in danger. Especially since - well. We know you well enough that it'll be apparent very quickly if you're not right, yes?
... all right. I will allow this under one condition. [Which Angel may not be too thrilled over, but he is determined to take every precaution possible.]
Brian is following me at a distance. I know he can be stealthy enough to avoid trouble - though he's the only one. I want him to be there as well. For strength in numbers. Just in case both of you underestimate the strength that might be required.
[He's pretty sure all they are. Pretty damn sure.]
[ Fine meaning "I get the impression that your friend doesn't like me at all but that isn't a big concern under these circumstances." FINE. ]
Do you have any thoughts about where to do this? If not, there's a police station directly west of the fire station we were all at before you left, and the cells would make for secure places to take cover if the worst happens.
[ See look she's being sensible and preparing for the worst! Even though she thinks Beckett attacking them is about as likely as Rhys suddenly developing anything resembling fashion sense. ]
I'm not complaining, honest! I understand wanting to be better safe than sorry. Um, are you sure you'd be alright with getting in the cells yourself, though? It doesn't seem like it'd be very. Dignified.
I'm not saying you'd ever even consider putting your dignity first, obviously, I know you better than that. But I also understand that it's important and am I fussing? Is this fussing? Oh geez.
[Beckett snorts faintly and immediately regrets it. Bloody hell his face hurts.]
On the list of undignified things people have done to me in order to break or avoid a frenzy, this would rank about... thirty-fourth. A little worse than squirting a blood bag at me from three feet away, but not nearly as bad as being restrained with a workhorse's harness and bit, or the whiskey barrel incident. And no, I am not ever mentioning those again.
Okay, when this all works out and you can be around people again, I think you owe me that story. For sneaking off like a butt. And for me not retaliating by showing everyone cutie photos of you to prove you're not all that scary.
In my world we call that blackmail. [SHOCK. HORROR. HOW COULD HIS OWN NOT!CHILDE TURN ON HIM SO.]
Angel, if this all works out, neither of you are hurt, and I can be certain of my own mind again, I will happily pose for your photos with the bloody flower crown.
[ That's. Kind of worrying, actually. Since it seems to indicate that it's not very likely to work out. Orrrr that Beckett will just be that relieved if it does.
JUST GONNA REPRESS THESE FUSSING URGES NBD ]
That counts as one of your super-binding vampire promises, right?
Alright. We'll make sure to approach from a different direction, then. And I'll save my last bar of chocolate just in case we need a distraction! You should feel very loved.
[ That's only half a joke. CHOCOLATE IS PRECIOUS, OKAY. Just not as precious as Beckett is. ]
If I tell you to stay safe until then, you'll give me the look, won't you. So... I'll not say that.
If I had such an all-powerful look, I'd have used it when cute photo blackmail became a threat. [Let's not kid ourselves he knows just what he's dealing with here.]
But I do, I suppose. Feel loved. It's an interesting feeling. Thank you, Angel.
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branchandroot
Day 142, morning; video
Date: 2016-08-01 10:09 am (UTC)He speaks in a slow, tired deadpan.] Would you rather it had been Rhys? Or you?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-01 03:31 pm (UTC)At least last night's insomnia serves a purpose now. Angel is too tired to cry. Just like old times! ]
Yes. Not him, me, that would have been. Better.
[ Not Rhys. Never Rhys. But she's always an acceptable sacrifice, always, particularly when she has nothing else to offer. ]
There'd be less fuss, at any rate. Fewer people calling for your death, or yelling at anyone who dares to disagree.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-02 11:22 am (UTC)[The single syllable is snapped off in a growl, and for an instant she has full view of it - his lips draw back from wicked fangs, face twisting in a flicker of inhuman rage that changes him. He's still hungry. It colours all of his emotions in dark red.
Then it ebbs, quick as it came, or else he gets control of it. He shakes his head and winces at the gesture.]
... no. I don't care who calls for my death. I do care about possibly killing my closest companions.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-02 04:37 pm (UTC)[ It's supposed to be a joke - fondly chastising, typically Angel - but it falls flat. Okay, maybe the insomnia isn't that rad. ]
I mean, it... I spoke with Doctor Watson. About things. And he said that a human can afford to lose a small cup of blood every day with no real ill effects, so that - it would be better than nothing, wouldn't it? Better than trying to avoid everyone.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-03 05:49 am (UTC)No real ill effects in an ideal environment, maybe - but either way it's moot. I'd have lost control as soon as I smelled it, never mind drank. Trust me when I say I know how this goes.
[Wearily, but without real impatience or frustration. It's an old struggle, even if he doesn't normally lose it so badly.]
And for that matter, plenty of people would have cared if I'd hurt you or Rhys.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-03 02:59 pm (UTC)[ Someone's bitterness is showing. YES LET'S ALL CALL FOR THE DEATH PENALTY IN RESPONSE TO AN ATTACK THAT IS CLEARLY NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR FOR THE INSTIGATOR, THAT'S SUPER REASONABLE CONSIDERING WHAT ELSE GOES ON HERE ]
What if - how much blood would typically get you back to, um. Normal levels? Would you be able to take it from me if Rhys stood by to knock you out with the robot arm if you lost it and tried to take too much? I wouldn't mind resting for a day or two to recover afterwards.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-04 09:55 am (UTC)[He's very understanding here, in contrast. He did rush them out of the blue and, well, didn't quite eat the finger but that's a technicality.]
They were panicked and in pain. I can't blame them for their response. Though I wish you two didn't have to... [he stops short of saying something stupid there, thankfully. Raises a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and - yeah, no, probably not a good idea. He rubs his eyes instead.]
Angel. It isn't viable. If I truly needed to feed, I could be sated... but I don't. It's a phantom pain. It obeys no logic. The only return to normal would be when I learn to manage it.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-05 04:29 pm (UTC)[ It's a trend here, as far as she's concerned. People acting like her emotions - the emotions she's finally allowed to display - mean that her intelligence is no longer relevant. Like she's not capable of looking at things rationally because of her precious freaking feels, so it's fine for people to talk over her.
God, she hates that. More than anything. Still - it's not the issue at hand, so she swallows and falls momentarily silent. ]
...How long do you think you'll need? And what if you can't manage it on your own.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-06 03:55 am (UTC)[He relents as much to agree on that, at least, though there's a weight of guilt he finds it hard to shake off. He'd hurt these two men, well - it's something of a fact of life. But he'd lost all control, all semblance of it. That frightens him. He doesn't want to say as much to her, but he knows that she thinks better of him than he strictly deserves.]
I doubt they'll do anything about all that snarling and posturing, though. It's typical... they're not worth your upset, Angel.
[At least he has the wits not to say I'm not worth your upset.]
It will be... hopefully no more than a few days. I know the problem, I've dealt with it before. If it's manageable...
[And the second question remains hanging in the air, with no answer he can think of.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-06 08:09 pm (UTC)Iunno. Can we - maybe agree to test it? By meeting up again in a week or something? If we promise to whap you around the head if you can't deal and try to get bitey?
[ she's doing The Face LOOK! AT! THE FACE! ]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-08 07:18 am (UTC)But she's being reasonable about this, he thinks, and a week in Norfinbury feels like a very long time. He takes a slow breath in.]
How confident are you of your ability to "whap" me? I know the strength Rhys has in his arm, but it takes conviction to put it to good use... and that isn't without its risks.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-08 08:05 pm (UTC)[ what are these words why is this an actual serious conversation ]
But Rhys' arm should be enough to defend both of us if you misbehave. He clearly wouldn't relish using it against you, but I definitely trust him to do it if we're in danger. Especially since - well. We know you well enough that it'll be apparent very quickly if you're not right, yes?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-09 02:42 pm (UTC)... all right. I will allow this under one condition. [Which Angel may not be too thrilled over, but he is determined to take every precaution possible.]
Brian is following me at a distance. I know he can be stealthy enough to avoid trouble - though he's the only one. I want him to be there as well. For strength in numbers. Just in case both of you underestimate the strength that might be required.
[He's pretty sure all they are. Pretty damn sure.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-09 05:57 pm (UTC)[ Fine meaning "I get the impression that your friend doesn't like me at all but that isn't a big concern under these circumstances." FINE. ]
Do you have any thoughts about where to do this? If not, there's a police station directly west of the fire station we were all at before you left, and the cells would make for secure places to take cover if the worst happens.
[ See look she's being sensible and preparing for the worst! Even though she thinks Beckett attacking them is about as likely as Rhys suddenly developing anything resembling fashion sense. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-11 08:33 am (UTC)[So what if he's stressed this a hundred times already. He can't shake the worry off. It's got him by the throat.]
The cells are an excellent idea, actually. If I lock myself in one, you can approach safely no matter what my reaction would be.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-11 03:39 pm (UTC)I'm not saying you'd ever even consider putting your dignity first, obviously, I know you better than that. But I also understand that it's important and am I fussing? Is this fussing? Oh geez.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-12 12:43 pm (UTC)On the list of undignified things people have done to me in order to break or avoid a frenzy, this would rank about... thirty-fourth. A little worse than squirting a blood bag at me from three feet away, but not nearly as bad as being restrained with a workhorse's harness and bit, or the whiskey barrel incident. And no, I am not ever mentioning those again.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-12 07:29 pm (UTC)Okay, when this all works out and you can be around people again, I think you owe me that story. For sneaking off like a butt. And for me not retaliating by showing everyone cutie photos of you to prove you're not all that scary.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-13 02:30 pm (UTC)Angel, if this all works out, neither of you are hurt, and I can be certain of my own mind again, I will happily pose for your photos with the bloody flower crown.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-13 05:36 pm (UTC)[ That's. Kind of worrying, actually. Since it seems to indicate that it's not very likely to work out. Orrrr that Beckett will just be that relieved if it does.
JUST GONNA REPRESS THESE FUSSING URGES NBD ]
That counts as one of your super-binding vampire promises, right?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-14 01:55 pm (UTC)[Looks like that's a yes to that.]
A week from now at the police station then. I'll spend the night before in the fire station so I can get there early and prepare.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-14 05:31 pm (UTC)[ That's only half a joke. CHOCOLATE IS PRECIOUS, OKAY. Just not as precious as Beckett is. ]
If I tell you to stay safe until then, you'll give me the look, won't you. So... I'll not say that.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-15 12:22 pm (UTC)But I do, I suppose. Feel loved. It's an interesting feeling. Thank you, Angel.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-15 03:24 pm (UTC)[ She even manages an eyebrow wiggle. TINY MIRACLES. ]
And there's no need to thank someone for loving you, you doof. Just look after yourself while you're alone, okay?