[IC Contact -- Snowblind]

[bookofnope]

[There is a click noise. It sounds as though it might be judging you.]

Comments

[godsspeed]

[ Castiel goes silent for a long while, considering the question. Again, this is something he's never seen fit to question before, at least not seriously. ]

I don't know. I was created for the purpose of tending to one world and one world only. I don't know much about what happens in the others or why they exist, just that they do.

I wish I had answers. [ For himself as much as for Beckett. ]

[bookofnope]

[He's silent for a long moment after Castiel stops speaking, as if waiting for more. He is waiting for more. This can't be it, this shut door, this closed avenue, another dead end to add to his collection. And every time he thinks he's done - that the search is over, that the part of him that searches has finally shriveled and died, or learned better, as it should have that day, in that damn parking lot in the middle of the burning city, when Caine turned his back on him and said, without so many words, stop - stop wasting the time you don't have left - ]

This isn't fair, [he croaks, voice breaking, childlike with frustration. Even the cultivated careful neutrality of his pronunciation goes and lets Castiel hear the roughness of his true, native Scouse. A human voice.] It isn't fair that I can't even stop hoping...

[godsspeed]

Things have been very unfair for a long time. [ It's much the same sentiment that he expressed to Beckett in that twisted space-outside-of-space, but this time with none of the malice. Just sympathy and grief. ] There are things about the nature of God that are unknown even to us. Especially to us. You've been asking each other and debating why a just God would create an unjust world for thousands of years. Until recently I couldn't even begin to understand the question.