[Whatever degree it comes to, that certainty, that faith, is welcome. This is a kind of answer. A real answer. Though when its implications are laid out...]
Then - it is not precluded that He has made one world which is as you know it, and in one which, as Enoch says, all souls are welcome and there is no damnation, and then one in which he has cursed my kind. Different worlds... different degrees of mercy.
Yes. Exactly. God wears a multitude of different aspects across the many worlds of His making. Sometimes an observer, other times a protector, or teacher. But still the same God, just in different roles.
But then... [A brief pause as he licks dry lips.] Then, why such mercy in one, and none in another? Have we - has humanity, in its earliest days, gone different paths on its own? It is these early sins - if that is what they were - that have decided the fate of worlds down the line? Or was it all part of the greater plan all along?
[ Castiel goes silent for a long while, considering the question. Again, this is something he's never seen fit to question before, at least not seriously. ]
I don't know. I was created for the purpose of tending to one world and one world only. I don't know much about what happens in the others or why they exist, just that they do.
I wish I had answers. [ For himself as much as for Beckett. ]
[He's silent for a long moment after Castiel stops speaking, as if waiting for more. He is waiting for more. This can't be it, this shut door, this closed avenue, another dead end to add to his collection. And every time he thinks he's done - that the search is over, that the part of him that searches has finally shriveled and died, or learned better, as it should have that day, in that damn parking lot in the middle of the burning city, when Caine turned his back on him and said, without so many words, stop - stop wasting the time you don't have left - ]
This isn't fair, [he croaks, voice breaking, childlike with frustration. Even the cultivated careful neutrality of his pronunciation goes and lets Castiel hear the roughness of his true, native Scouse. A human voice.] It isn't fair that I can't even stop hoping...
Things have been very unfair for a long time. [ It's much the same sentiment that he expressed to Beckett in that twisted space-outside-of-space, but this time with none of the malice. Just sympathy and grief. ] There are things about the nature of God that are unknown even to us. Especially to us. You've been asking each other and debating why a just God would create an unjust world for thousands of years. Until recently I couldn't even begin to understand the question.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 06:14 pm (UTC)Then - it is not precluded that He has made one world which is as you know it, and in one which, as Enoch says, all souls are welcome and there is no damnation, and then one in which he has cursed my kind. Different worlds... different degrees of mercy.
no subject
Date: 2017-05-03 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-07 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-14 02:43 am (UTC)I don't know. I was created for the purpose of tending to one world and one world only. I don't know much about what happens in the others or why they exist, just that they do.
I wish I had answers. [ For himself as much as for Beckett. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-05-18 02:00 pm (UTC)This isn't fair, [he croaks, voice breaking, childlike with frustration. Even the cultivated careful neutrality of his pronunciation goes and lets Castiel hear the roughness of his true, native Scouse. A human voice.] It isn't fair that I can't even stop hoping...
no subject
Date: 2017-05-31 10:23 pm (UTC)