[It should be just an annoyance - Clayton lecturing him again - but instead the outburst is a bit of a gut-punch. Beckett stares at the screen for a moment. The thoughtful look clouds over. There's a snarl there that he is clearly holding back with some effort.]
Well, good morning, Dr. Epps, so glad you decided to catch up. I've never made it anything but perfectly clear that I do what I do for myself. My own ends and my own answers. And neither expecting nor wanting anyone to care. You only have yourself to blame for getting involved!
[He stops, breath a little hard. Getting angry isn't actually helping him with the bitterness, for once. Lovely.]
You are the one who insists about making this about your feelings. Again. And for once when I am trying to go out on a limb and explain to you that something really is wrong -
[And stops again, abruptly. Didn't mean to say it so bluntly, perhaps. But it's out. Something's wrong.
It's a bit of a pattern in his relationship with Clayton, he's starting to realize. Maybe... just maybe, he really has not been entirely fair with the man.]
You told me that I should start caring about my own feelings and picking up my own pieces for once, and incredibly, doing that isn't making either of us feel too great, is it? Bite me when I try to help you, bite me when I stick up for myself. But I guess that's what I get for dealing with you, Beckett the fierce, uncaring vampire that's only ever worked for himself, except for those times when he tried to defend Rhys, when he showed compassion and dedication for Angel, when he defended me when I was hurt and promised he wouldn't do the same. That's what I get for caring.
Good job for pulling the wool over my eyes for so long. Won't happen again.
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bookofnope) wrote2015-10-04 01:39 pm
no subject
Well, good morning, Dr. Epps, so glad you decided to catch up. I've never made it anything but perfectly clear that I do what I do for myself. My own ends and my own answers. And neither expecting nor wanting anyone to care. You only have yourself to blame for getting involved!
[He stops, breath a little hard. Getting angry isn't actually helping him with the bitterness, for once. Lovely.]
You are the one who insists about making this about your feelings. Again. And for once when I am trying to go out on a limb and explain to you that something really is wrong -
[And stops again, abruptly. Didn't mean to say it so bluntly, perhaps. But it's out. Something's wrong.
It's a bit of a pattern in his relationship with Clayton, he's starting to realize. Maybe... just maybe, he really has not been entirely fair with the man.]
no subject
Good job for pulling the wool over my eyes for so long. Won't happen again.
[Furious, Clayton closes out the conversation.]