[That she's so calm, so level - even if he knows she isn't, and he damn well knows, still, she has more control than him, and he finds that impossible to grapple with. She still knows exactly what she's saying, and he can barely parse his own thoughts, and all those damned feelings.]
When I'm with you, you are all I think about, do you understand? You, Rhys, Enoch, even Brian, all I can think about is that I cannot hurt you. Whether you forbid or support me, I can't. It's a weakness, I know, but there it is!
[And not a weakness he's ever had before, either. They mean to him something just as intense as his old companions, but wholly different. He's attached in ways he never has been. And yes, he thinks, it does make him a coward.]
So what should I do, Angel? Stay as close as I truly want to and watch you die, or try to find a solution and leave you? What is the answer here?
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2018-03-04 12:00 am (UTC)[That she's so calm, so level - even if he knows she isn't, and he damn well knows, still, she has more control than him, and he finds that impossible to grapple with. She still knows exactly what she's saying, and he can barely parse his own thoughts, and all those damned feelings.]
When I'm with you, you are all I think about, do you understand? You, Rhys, Enoch, even Brian, all I can think about is that I cannot hurt you. Whether you forbid or support me, I can't. It's a weakness, I know, but there it is!
[And not a weakness he's ever had before, either. They mean to him something just as intense as his old companions, but wholly different. He's attached in ways he never has been. And yes, he thinks, it does make him a coward.]
So what should I do, Angel? Stay as close as I truly want to and watch you die, or try to find a solution and leave you? What is the answer here?