*He doesn't really know how he feels about it. Its all so confusing and makes figuring out if he wants to be like this or not too much for him. He knows he wouldn't normally, but now he understands that he only thinks that because he gave up...however long ago it was. But it wasn't like he could try to be like this normally--he was right when he said it was too complicated.
But in the end it didn't matter. Norfinbury or the @admin or who/what ever controlled the death loses here would take this away. He knows when it happens he'll be grateful but now...
...now he just resigns himself to it. Its depressing, in a way, but also somewhat freeing. Nothing he does these next few days really matters much.*

Yeah. This won't last too long.

*He still sounds kinda depressed about it, though.*