[IC Contact -- Snowblind]

[bookofnope]

[There is a click noise. It sounds as though it might be judging you.]

Comments

[0thingsonmymind]

wewill haveto
test
whenwe can



me too

*Meaning he's rather sure Tim dislikes him a lot. But he'd be far from surprised if Tim also hated his friends.*

Night 108, a few hours after lockdown; @totheark, text

[0thingsonmymind]

iam go ing to
over night
in gro cery store

doyou want
vid e o
?

[dr_unconscious]

[Clayton doesn't really need an explanation--he's made up his mind about what the answer is.]

You did it because you're selfish. You're only thinking about yourself. How being stuck here affects you, how you're only acting for yourself, how nobody else's word matters except what you see or what you experience. Two people die pulling that stunt you did? Doesn't matter, you have to go broadcast it again, just so everyone can be rest assured that Beckett's tested the thing, it works! It's real!! Never mind that he's brushing aside all the concerns of everyone that cares about him, because he's doing everyone else a favor. Wasn't that so generous of you?

Well don't worry about any of us weird, pesky humans getting in your way anymore with our petty anxieties and flawed judgement. You've convinced me! I'll just stop caring now. Don't know why I held on for so long. Should've known better.

[bookofnope]

[It should be just an annoyance - Clayton lecturing him again - but instead the outburst is a bit of a gut-punch. Beckett stares at the screen for a moment. The thoughtful look clouds over. There's a snarl there that he is clearly holding back with some effort.]

Well, good morning, Dr. Epps, so glad you decided to catch up. I've never made it anything but perfectly clear that I do what I do for myself. My own ends and my own answers. And neither expecting nor wanting anyone to care. You only have yourself to blame for getting involved!

[He stops, breath a little hard. Getting angry isn't actually helping him with the bitterness, for once. Lovely.]

You are the one who insists about making this about your feelings. Again. And for once when I am trying to go out on a limb and explain to you that something really is wrong -

[And stops again, abruptly. Didn't mean to say it so bluntly, perhaps. But it's out. Something's wrong.

It's a bit of a pattern in his relationship with Clayton, he's starting to realize. Maybe... just maybe, he really has not been entirely fair with the man.]

[bookofnope]

This could be risky, I'm sure you're aware. Is Jade staying with you? Is this the store on the other side of the ice tunnels?

[He's hardly going to tell Brian not to do it, but maybe do it in... the least potentially deadly way.]

[0thingsonmymind]

yes
iknow
itis down town





jadeis
gone

[bookofnope]

[There is a sudden unhappy cold feeling trickling down Beckett's throat.]

What do you mean, gone? Did she leave?

[0thingsonmymind]

therewas monster anomaly

she was eat en
idid not save
only ran

*And he doesn't feel good about any of that.*

[bookofnope]

[Oh, hell.]

I'm sorry, Brian. But I'm not sure what you think you might have done. We all run.

[0thingsonmymind]

iknow
but






*He doesn't know. It hurts and he does that like that.*

i donot know

[bookofnope]

[Lord, how is he supposed to - and Brian of all people - ]

I'm also not sure she'd have been happy to know you were tormenting yourself over it. Wouldn't she have told you something similar when I

[Actually, maybe let's not mention that.]

[0thingsonmymind]

shewas




there

shesaid
hurt
was
w o r t h
it

i donot know

[bookofnope]

To tell you the truth, I don't really know, either. But sometimes it simply happens, this kind of closeness, friendship... even most Kindred don't spend their existence entirely alone. And you are still, essentially, human.

[0thingsonmymind]

ido not friends
i shouldnot friends

*He says to the man he's accepted as his friend.*

[bookofnope]

Neither do I, normally. And yet here we are.

[Trying to comfort one mortal over the death of another. And not resenting it.]

It will hurt. She might return, or she might not, and it will keep hurting. Time will improve some of it, and you'll learn to live through the rest. And you'll find it doesn't really matter the next time you happen to meet someone else who walks your way.

[0thingsonmymind]

idonot know ifi
want
itto mat ter

*He wants things to go back to being normal (Such as it is), but mostly just when it hurts like this. Or when Tim--or someone--announces they're going to destroy or hurt his friend(s).*

[bookofnope]

What you want will probably not figure into it, I'm sorry to say. Did you want to come to care for Jade - or for me, I suppose? But it happened.

[He's at peace with the idea that Brian might inform him that he doesn't care for him after all. That also happens. Friendship is a lot easier when you drop all expectations.]

[0thingsonmymind]

i

donot
know

ido not ev en know whenit
hap pen ed

*He just knows that he does and that he prefers to not think about it. Its all still confusing and sort of wrong--even if its right at the same time.*

[bookofnope]

[Not a rejection - hm. He might relax a little. Just a little.]

I have no great advice for you except that it did. And it may well happen again. Just like death, in fact. One survives and moves on, if only because there is no other choice.

[0thingsonmymind]

imust keep mov ing for ward
tofind ans wers

thatis why
gro cery store

[bookofnope]

[Ah, yes. About that.]

As your friend, I will not try to stop you, but I will advise that you take what safety measures you can. When Rydia and I were in the morgue together, I survived by staying in an out of the way room and closing the door. That will not allow you to observe directly, but you can leave your tablet filming in the main space. Tie yourself to something that doesn't move and see if you can protect your hands somehow, as the urge to leave will likely drive you to self-injury. Make sure you have some kind of weapon nearby - a heavy piece of rubble might work best.

[This is friendship as he knows it. And it isn't a trivial thing.]

[0thingsonmymind]

*Hm. He hadn't considered putting his tablet somewhere else...he's recorded with it while he slept before, but can he count on it being still there when he goes to fetch it? But even if not, it seemed absurdly easy to find a new one.*

iwill try that
may be backroom

i have
rope
ido not mind if
in jury

*A weapon, though...he'd destroyed his table leg and the knife was no good if he'd just cut the rope with it. Maybe he should search through the rubble first.*

[bookofnope]

[He's still listening. Good.]

Remember that medical assistance is no longer an option. Serious injury might impair you in the long term.

In fact - would you be willing to hold off until I'm able to come be within reach? If nothing else, you will want someone to come free you the next morning.

[starsandtights]

You might first take a look at their conversation on the Admin's intro post when Cloud arrived. Literally everything I know about the situation I gleaned from that. I'm pretty confident in my conclusions but you might check for yourself.

[Steve clenches his jaw a little, remembering.] Yeah, I'd. Forgotten she was there. Unpleasant shock. ...If I'm right about Cloud, there should be another Cloud in one of the morgues. Like there is with Rhys. And. Peggy too, at a guess. I don't actually know that she's still there. [He is probably unsuccessful at not sounding super uncomfortable to be contemplating this.]

What, parallel worlds, body doubles? Is it much worse or more uncomfortable than anything else? ...I dunno, maybe I've just been sitting with it for a while. Knowing Loki and Clint are here was weird enough, but once I saw how young Peggy was there were only so many places I could go with that.

Hmmm. Well, consider yourself pre-warned, I guess. The chances of people knowing other people here are incredibly high considering the number of worlds that must be out there, and the billions of people in each world.

[0thingsonmymind]

*Hm...maybe. Zell was downtown, but he didn't know where. And Zell would probably bring the rest of his group with him.*

whereare you
?